Your therapist's job is to help you ventilate your feelings of loss and let go of the fantasy of getting something that is not available. Expect to receive support, understanding and compassion during this difficult and painful step. If you cannot resolve these wounds or give up the hope for the ideal parents, consider doing some guided visualization exercises with your therapist. In this method, your therapist uses some type of trance induction technique to fully and deeply relax you and then creates an imaginary experience that metaphorically captures your dilemma as a child.
As mentioned in Chapter One and the discussion of Step Two, it is critical
that your therapist be trained in and comfortable with the practice of this and any other technique(s). If your therapist is not trained or comfortable using techniques such as this, then discuss the possibility of your attending a workshop that focuses on healing childhood traumas. Guided visualization and other exercises can aid the grieving process and help you transform your inner emptiness into an evolving process that leads to resolution.
Sharing your dreams in therapy sessions can open up exciting avenues of personal exploration. If your therapist is skilled in dream interpretation, you may want to try this. If you have been recording your dreams (refer to the discussions in Steps Two and Nine), you can bring your journal to therapy with you and read your dreams to your therapist. Together you can explore various possible meanings and interpretations. Dreams can be especially vivid and informative during the grieving process in that they may illuminate conflicts and resistances beyond your conscious awareness.