[mzpvj]

Not where to start off on this. But here is a bit of back ground. My son's father and I were together for 5 1/2 years. In the end, I found out he was cheating on me so I kicked him out. I found out later that the girl was only 16 years old. He's 29. I found it a bit odd but I just let things go. I had to figure out how we were going to move on. Besides my son, I have a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship. After I kicked him out, he found an apartment 2 blocks away from me. There was just a lot of emotions going on for a good amount of time when I decided I had enough and moved. When I moved and refused to tell him where I lived, that's when he took me to court for visitation for my son. Then she told me. My daughter broke down one night telling me that he had done bad things to her. I sat, listened, and cried with her. I too was a victim of sexual assult when I was around her age from my grandfather. So I know what she might have felt and I blamed myself for the longest for not noticing it happening right under my own roof.

Time has past. She has been seeing a counseler to help with anything she might feel that she needs help with. It seems to have been helping her and I do see a difference in our mother/daughter relationship. But now I have something to deal with that I knew I would have to deal with one day. My son's father's family wants to be apart of my son's life. Which they have every right too. After all, that is his other side of the family. But when everything happened and they were made aware of the accusations, they choose not to believe any of it. So, I'm a bit stuck.

We were unable to have him convicted on any of the charges due to the fact that the acts took place about a year before she disclosed them to me. So there was no evidence. It would be his word against hers. The detective closed the case but DCFS still found grounds. I can't take it any further then where it is now so I'm more focused on just helping my daughter through everything.

So back to my problem... His grandparents want to visit with my son. His father receives visitation but it is supervised due to a court order. That came about when I asked the court to drug test him and he dropped dirty. I never had a problem with his family before but when all this came out... well... they stuck up for him.

I'm a bit worried about allowing them to take my son. I realize that I have control over when they can visit with him, for how long, and so on. I have no doubt that when they pick him up they will also be visiting his father. I want to protect my son but I don't want to seem like I'm overreacting. The grandparents wouldn't let anything happen to him but they never took the accusations into consideration at all. It was like, 'No, sorry. He would never do that. She must be lying.' And that was that.

I'm not sure what to do.

[DianaJoy]

That's got to be a terribly awkward situation to be in.

Since there's court ordered supervision of the boy's father's visits, it seems logical to me that the grandparent's visits would be supervised as well.

The fact is, you're the one responsible for your son's care and upbringing. It's lovely that his grandparents want to be a part of his life, but they simply have to accept that it will be on your terms. It's up to you how often, where, and when your son will visit with them, if he will at all.

I am so glad to hear you're helping your daughter address her own issues. It makes such a difference to have a parent who believes you, and supports you.