[dancingbear]

Hello I would like a new thread to post to. I would like the name Albia after my kitten if possible. Thank you

[dancingbear]

I am learning that my family heritage is alot of why there was much abuse going on. There are people in my family that, I don't know how to put it that when people are being abused, being so graceful about situations is very difficult and especially men, not that it is ever ok to abuse anyone but, the amazing grace that some people show during very difficult times is incredible. It is mostly when no one stops the abuse is when it gets out of control and then larger mistakes seem to be made. I give myself much credit also, for really trying to always keep things in perspective and trying to know my limits. Sometimes I feel guilt feelings for being educated and seeing the faults of inadequate knowledge, and inadequate treatment and assumptions about people in the past and even now there are many groups of people who suffered out loud and then there are some that just suffered in silence and quiet observation. Realizing that things were sometimes the way they were helps me to try to let go of some of the bad feelings. But, I was a child and I guess sometimes people really do not know what to do and you have no right to say no to anyones behavior when you are a child. And until now, I have never felt empowered to say no. To let go of some of my pride and ask for help even yell for help out loud. I am now working on taking my life back and it has taken a long time. To conceptualize what I have gone through makes me sick. But now, I have the right to say no to anyone anytime I want. Remembering things was the most traumatic experience I have ever had in my life. I have forgiven so much of what happened in my life. Things happened and there is nothing I can do about it now but move on. I did learn alot. Sometimes when someone goes through a bad experience there are some people who will kick you in the face without flinching an eye. It is sick. It is a cycle in my family that I am hoping is ending. No one is to treat me or my small family poorly, not now not ever. Nor will my little family or myself become scapegoats for anyones crap. I have started to heal and it has taken years, and I hope for happy grandchildren who feel safe and sound. I know that life is not always fun and rosey. But I cannot believe what I have been through.

[dancingbear]

I want to learn more about scapegoating. How to stop it mostly. A good lawyer I suppose. It is very difficult when people have gotten away with stuff for many years to get it to stop. That is just one of the topics that I want to talk about in the future.

[dancingbear]

I just want to say also, I am coming from a point of 10 years of councelling and trying to heal and trying to heal from impropper treatment. It is rather difficult to heal when your character is constantly being attacked, but I WILL HEAL from all of this and I have things in my life to try and look forward to. I don't think that many people read Mother Thereasa, she said, "Comparisons are odious" and they ARE.

[Sheryl]

Hello.
I am very new to this. Haveing just escaped a 12 year ordeal involving my mother and her lover. I

[dancingbear]

Sheryl, I was logged onto this and logged out because I get anxiety about privacy but if you would like to reply again I will stay registered for a bit. You did escape though right? That is a good thing. Do you go for councelling also?

[Sheryl]

Yes I did, I started my escape 4 years ago and within in the last two months was able to escape completely. I have had no contact with her nor her lover for almost two wonderful months. The last time I saw her was in a police station, and I hope it is the last. As time goes on I feel much stronger

[Sheryl]

Im sorry for bursting in on your forum and causing you to have anxitiy. I have never used a forum before and was not sure how to start a topic.

[dancingbear]

I am still having a difficult time with fear and am wondering if anyone had any ideas about how to overcome it. I was never like this until I started going to councelling. Sometimes i think that I have just had enough of it and it has worn me out not made me better. I know that I was targeted and fear for my family sometimes. Part of them anyway. Everyone I am around has been so mean and they play head games. I have been through identity theft, I have filed papers, they puled this shit with my daughter also, I have to fix my credit again. I worry too much and sometimes get no sleep. I declined a group because they wanted me to go into a group with men who were wife beaters!!! That was nuts. I feel victimized all over again. I am not an alchoholic nor a drug addict but now I am the one that is not well. Does anyone have any insite as to when you start to feel better? I miss my mom but our whole family has been bullied and I don't know if she is ok. I worry because I used to be so kind and loving. I worry that I will never be that way again. I

[dancingbear]

I have so many trust issues now. I never trust anyone. I had my home broken into several times, my car has been harmed, I just want my life back sometimes but cannot do it all alone, but I don't trust anyone enough to have friends yet. I hope it gets better.

[Sheryl]

I think that a lot of us have trust issues and get scared, I hope that that goes away too

[Sheryl]

Im not sure when you start to feel better, I started having moments that lasted into minutes. That lasted into days

[dancingbear]

hello are you online now? I went and tried to lay down and I couldn't sleep. I am happy for you that you have escaped the bad situation that you were in. Is it getting better?

[dancingbear]

I do also, sometimes I have a day where I feel really good but it doesn't seem to last long. I am really hoping that those days start to turn to weeks and months. We deserve to feel good. Mine is worry and some people that I know don't try to help it they tend to go out of their way to make me feel worse.

[Sheryl]

Yes I am online. It is much better, I am in Alabama right now, but will be returning to pa in the spring, so I am very strong since I am 15 hours an dthousands of miles away, I am fearfull about going back since my home is only five miles away from them. Hopefully I can avoid them