Survivor to Thriver Manual Timing is Everything

Timing is Everything
Recovery occurs in small, steady steps taken one after another. Each step you take needs to be reviewed, evaluated and experienced so that you can derive maximum benefit from your hard work. Try not to get ahead of yourself. Many survivors feel impatient with the pace of their recovery, especially if they have spent years feeling stuck. You may want to jump ahead and go for the "big success" out of a sense of wanting to finally put the past to rest. But remember, when you jump ahead before you are really ready, you sacrifice safety and risk a setback that can leave you feeling dispirited and hopeless. Try to reassure yourself that your abuse occurred over a long period of time important formative years and so full recovery is also likely to take time.

It is very important that YOU set the structure and pace of your recovery. Many survivors anxious to proceed with and "finish" their recovery often find themselves exploring recovery techniques that threaten them or make them feel re- victimized and violated. Often these survivors had some sense that they were not yet ready to explore their abuse issues at that particular level, but failed to trust their intuition cautioning them to move slowly. Although it is difficult to resist a path that promises to lead to healing and recovery, we strongly encourage you to trust your own inner sense about your readiness. If you are not sure yourself whether you are ready to explore your abuse issues using particular techniques or at a different pace, see if you can get some help from a trusted friend or therapist. Ultimately, though, you must be the judge of whether you are ready for a certain recovery experience.

If you have a therapist, she or he may suggest certain techniques to help you in your recovery. If you have established a consistent level of trust with your therapist, you should be able to tell him or her that you do not feel ready to try a particular technique, or that you feel the therapy is moving too fast (or too slowly). An ethical therapist will never force you to do anything about which you are unsure, and will respect your sense of appropriate timing.

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